Is your son a hacker [satire]?

This is hilarious

http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html 

Some choice quotes for knowing whether your son is a hacker:

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to
conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new
programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in
your
control panel .
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place
and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.
Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world,
and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable
to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away,
and have
trigger locks installed.
You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD , Lunix , Debian and Mandrake are
all versions of an
illegal hacker operation
system
, invented by a Soviet
computer hacker
named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the
Cold War. It is based on a program called "
xenix ",
which was written by
Microsoft for
the
US government . These programs
are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit
card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their
music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for
writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect
to machines on the internet without using a
telephone .

Your son may try to install " lunix "
on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however,
lunix is
a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer,
and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to
have your computer repaired by a
professional .

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the
machine on), your son has installed
lunix .
In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer,
and have them fit a new hard drive.
Lunix is
extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your
hard disk surface.