Top 10 signs I've been staying in hotels too much lately

  1. Looking for a hotel bill on the floor inside my bedroom door.
  2. Looking for a USA Today outside of said door.
  3. Needing to stop and think how to set the alarm on my own clock radio.
  4. Being surprised that the first channel I see upon turning on the TV is not a hotel menu screen.
  5. Wondering who was here before me when the tip of the toilet paper is not folded into a little triangle.
  6. Relishing in the fact that I'm using soap that's actually bigger than a matchbox.
  7. Resisting the urge to take every single article of clothing out of my dresser and put it in a suitcase.
  8. Expecting to see front desk staff standing on the other side of my kitchen counter when I come downstairs.
  9. Realizing that there's no AVIS keytag on my keys with license plate and vehicle information (which is often how I find my rental car in the morning).
  10. Having my wife fuss at me for leaving money on the nightstand for "housekeeping".