Ill try to be of some assistance to point out what you (and I) were failing to realize.
The issue is here that the iis setting is for the MAX que size, ie how many can go INTO the que. i had mine set to 10,000 form the default 1,000.
People said it was too big, so i used the profiler to find this actual values, and to my surprise it was always 0... i instantly thought, its not logging correct.
However, as i played with the site and was restarting app pools i would notice a small value would register, during a recent outage the value went up quite a bit.
The reason for this is simple, what tells it to que things? IIS will try to process as many as it can based on a value called, maxConcurrentRequestsPerCPU, before offloading to the que.
<applicationPool
maxConcurrentRequestsPerCPU="5000"
maxConcurrentThreadsPerCPU="0"
requestQueueLimit="5000" />
Basically, its set to unlimited, and the more CPU/CORES you throw at it the WORSE it is, taking more and more , never needing or hitting the que!
What's worse is that this is now a secret setting, it used to be in the UI from what I gathered..
I hope this helps, if im completely of the mark, please let me know too.
other good docs
https://www.ais.com/comparing-rpc-with-messaging-for-handling-spikes-in-load-part-2/
https://techexpert.tips/iis/iis-limiting-concurrent-connections/
https://serverfault.com/questions/869448/difference-between-limit-number-of-connections-setting-in-iis-and-the-max-pool-s
https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/previous-versions/windows/it-pro/windows-server-2012-R2-and-2012/hh831681(v=ws.11)?redirectedfrom=MSDN#Edit_Limits