monkeys would never write the entire works of Shakespeare using a Mac

Monkeys would never write the entire works of Shakespeare using a Mac. Well, that is the conclusion of scientists at the University of Utah who conducted experiments using 20 primates over a three-month period and found that their subjects largely shunned the four Macs running OS X in favour of keyboards attached to four machines running Windows XP.  The silicon.com story explains:

"US academics have conducted research into the well-known phenomenon of 'Shakespeare's Monkeys' – which claims an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of typewriters would eventually write the complete works of the Bard – and have discovered it would not hold true if the primates were typing on an Apple Mac.

Apparently (remember folks, this is April 1, so don't believe everything you read) Dr Klaas told silicon.com: "We were surprised by the results. The majority of the primates we used appeared to be far more comfortable using Windows."

"The most commonly opened application was also on the Windows PCs with the primates appearing to develop a fondness for Outlook."

This has to be quote of the year:

Klaas told silicon.com: "Whatever people say about infinite outcomes and infinite possibilities this research makes me think monkeys would never write the entire works of Shakespeare using a Mac.

"But," added Klaas, "they'd sure break a lot of keyboards trying."

(Thanks to Simon Hoare for pinging me with this classic!)