Bright Idea #234583: Voodoo Emailer
Are you inundated with email? Do your collegues spam you like it's the second coming? Would you like to wear your undies on the outside? Well, I have the solution for you!
Voodoo Emailer uses a revolutionary technology that is capable of learning and adapting to your email response habits. Just like Outlook Rules, you configure Voodoo Emailer to respond to peoples inane, worthless, insipid emails with a concise and cogent reply. The heart of VE is the "Engine de Right Politik", which is capable of constructing politically correct, articulate, meaningless paragraphs en masse, from a comprehensive database of terms; generated from speeches delivered by our greatest politicians and dictators of the period. Not only that, VE will also give the offending sender a sharp pain in the posterior, kind of like a read receipt :)
So act quickly, order your copy of Voodoo Emailer now, and experience the relief of never having to deal with weemail ever again!