Top Ten Rejected Legal Disclaimers for My Blog

Recently I noticed that my blog didn't have a legal disclaimer and figured that it probably should. After thinking about this deeply (i.e. copying what was on BradA's blog), I contemplated further and decided that there could be better (or at least more creative) disclaimers. 

  1. "These postings confer no warranties express or implied. Just like a Maytag Neptune washer."
  2. "These postings may increase the risk of heart attack and are not intended for internal consumption. Just like Vioxx. Please confer with your doctor or pharmacist before reading. But don't panic."
  3. "These postings are provided with 'FREE PORN' but no warranties, and confer no rights." (I bet this one boosts viewership.)
  4. "These postings are simply unwarranted. Please click here or here for useful ones."
  5. "Please don't hold the rest of Microsoft accountable for him." (Plea from our internal legal staff.)
  6. "Everything's made up and the blogs don't matter. That's right, the blogs are like if N'sync and the Backstreet Boys traded guys. They don't matter." (Apologies to Drew Carey.)
  7. "This blog, which is the size of a piece of snot, can swagger around and criticize anyone." (Write-in suggestion from the Taiwan foreign ministry.)
  8. "John Kerry believes this blog is a colossal error and a great diversion and, though he does think the world would be better off without it, he won't fund its removal, however he does have a plan for us to get out of it."
  9. "George Bush believes a war on this blog is necessary will invade Kuala Lumpur in order to rid the world of it."
  10. "You really think Microsoft has an official position on Zinfandel?"